Throughout my life, I’ve felt things intensely. And for a long time, it overwhelmed and disturbed me. I would often get overpowered by my feelings and feel helpless in emotionally charged situations, finding it difficult to express myself.
It’s hard to capture and compare our internal landscapes. But one thing that always stood out was how easily I would get to the verge of crying. Even now, the slightest of emotional stories can easily move me to tears.
The thing is, we have all sorts of cultural connotations attached with crying and sensitivity, especially for men. So naturally, the whole thing made me feel weak. I felt like something was wrong with me. So I would suppress my emotions and bottle them up. Which obviously only made things worse. I could not make any sense of it until I stumbled upon the concept of Sensory Processing Sensitivity.
Sensory Processing Sensitivity
Sensory Processing Sensitivity (SPS) is a biological trait characterized by greater reactivity to environmental and social stimuli, both positive and negative. Increased sensitivity of the central nervous system amplifies all the sensations an individual experiences. fMRI studies have observed that SPS is actually reflected in functional differences in certain parts of the brain. Someone with a markedly high measure of SPS is referred to as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Apparently, about 15-20% of the population falls on this high sensitivity spectrum.
For HSPs, everything — from sounds, smells, and touch to ideas, relationships, and emotions — gets processed in a heightened way. Due to the increased depth of processing and the cognitive resources these processes require, highly sensitive individuals tend to get overwhelmed easily. The sensory overload generates strong emotions. And all that emotional charge seeks an outlet, which can come in the form of crying or even outbursts of anger.
With such cognitive predispositions, HSPs inevitably have a high vulnerability to stress and anxiety. Unsurprisingly, they also tend to overthink a lot. Combine that with an increased sensitivity to other people’s moods, conflicts can be extremely discomforting for HSPs. If we were to talk objectively, they would score very high on conscientiousness and neuroticism in the Big Five Personality test.
However, note that sensitivity, like everything else, falls on a spectrum. And since it’s a subjective experience, there’s no universal objective diagnosis to gauge your sensitivity. If you’re curious, here’s a simple checklist test to see if you fall on the HSP spectrum.
Toughen up?
Sensitivity is generally looked down upon by society. Starting in early childhood, the outward expressions of sensitivity are frequently attacked and mocked. This damages the highly sensitive person’s self-esteem, creating a sense of shame within and pushing them to numb their sensitivity.
Invariably, HSPs will often be told to stop taking things to heart or to toughen up. But sensitivity, or lack thereof, is not something one gets to choose — whether from genetics (nature) or upbringing (nurture), it’s innate to a large extent.
Not a disorder
Perhaps the most important thing to highlight about sensory processing sensitivity is that it’s not a disorder. It’s not something that needs fixing. Despite creating some limitations, sensitivity enables several advantages when the trait is expressed adaptively.
First, the flipside of lower lows is higher highs. HSPs feel the emotions of joy, love, gratitude, pleasure, and excitement more deeply than the average person. The increased depths of processing also makes HSPs highly reflective and enables them to notice little details that other miss. They are perceptive of finer subtleties within and around them, allowing them to not only be in tune with their own emotions and needs but also of those around them. All these proclivities create multiple second-order benefits like creativity, precision, stronger relationships, etc.
However, most of the HSPs fail to realize these gifts because they’re too focused on trying to suppress and fight their sensitivity. Also, their sensitivity makes them vulnerable to attacks on their self-esteem, which leads to higher levels of self-absorption. This again prevents them from leveraging sensitivity to their advantage. Speaking from experience here.
Relevant Plug: Self-Esteem — The Foundation of Your Life
Awareness
I wish someone had told me about Sensory Processing Sensitivity when I was a kid. It would have prevented years of confusion, shame, and suffering. Why is this some kind of niche knowledge? It saddens me to realize that there are millions of individuals out there who have no idea that their sensitivity is a gift, not a burden.
Ideally, all this stuff should be part of our education. There’s a lot of nuance to it. Most people have no idea how to effectively manage their emotions. And we could prevent a lot of suffering if we give people the psychological tools to navigate their emotions at an early age. But no, geography is more important it seems.
If you found any of this relatable, know that the first step is always acceptance. Allow yourself to feel freely. Over time, you’ll learn how to navigate the challenges and handle all that emotional energy. It’s like lifting weights. As you expose yourself to heavier feels, your mind gets comfortable with handling that tension without needing an outlet. And slowly but surely, you’ll be able to tap into the powers of your sensitivity.
Do your research, learn more about this stuff. There are certain psychological tools that will help you on the journey. Mindfulness is obviously one of them. Eugene Gendlin’s Focusing is another one.
And even if you did not find this relatable, know that there’s a good chance quite a few people around you fall under this description. An essential concept to add to your mental models of human behavior.
Thank you for reading. Most of the content on this website has emerged from conversations with readers like you. Every Sunday, I send out an email dissecting some aspect of the human mind.
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