The Paradox of Choice

We are living in a world of infinite possibilities.

In every area, we have more options and choices than ever before. And they are ever-increasing. Entertainment, luxuries, hobbies, careers, partners — endless variety in everything. You are also freer than any generation before to choose your own religion, philosophy, moral code, and even gender. You are free to design your life however you want it, at least on paper. Contrast this with the life of your grandparents. They lived a life of limited avenues, bounded by tradition.

But all this freedom comes at a great cost, which is what the paradox of choice is about.

Increasing Complexity

Our lives are becoming increasingly complex. Sure, if you can navigate that complexity, you can create a rich vivid life. But that’s easier said than done. Our minds are not adequately prepared to deal with this level of complexity.

You see, the availability of multiple options introduces a strong sense of uncertainty in our decision-making process.

X might seem appealing to you. But if you choose X, then you’ll lose Y, which might then stop you from getting Z. Every decision carries a trade-off. If you factor in the second-order effects, it becomes ridiculously difficult to make a decision, let alone make the “right” decision. No wonder so many people talk about feeling lost, not really knowing what they want to do in their lives.

This not only happens at a macro level but also at the micro level in our day-to-day lives. There are now so many open frontiers in our life, which means there’s always something to do. Even when you relax, there’s a nagging sense of incompleteness. And there’s always this looming question of whether you could be doing something better with your time.

Loss of Productivity

Also, with so many things competing for your attention, you fall prey to context switching — you switch between tasks (or thoughts), losing your ability to perform deep work which requires sustained attention.

Ironically, despite having so much to do, we often end up doing little. With endless options and access to unlimited information, the decision-making process can go on forever. The fear of making a wrong decision puts us in analysis paralysis. How do you avoid regretting a decision? You overthink and don’t make one.

When the possibilities are infinite and you can’t make decisions easily, you lose your confidence and sense of control over the future. All this uncertainty inevitably creates anxiety. How do you cope with that anxiety? By engaging in avoidant behavior i.e. procrastination.

The Trouble with Optionality

These options and opportunities that are supposed to create happiness and freedom for us, ironically lead to dissatisfaction and paralysis. That’s the paradox of choice. And the thing is — we don’t want to give up the optionalities. We often optimize for optionality — “I want to keep my options open”.

Take dating for instance. When you have access to a huge number of potential partners through an app, it becomes difficult to emotionally commit to someone. There’s always the looming question of “What if I can do better than this?”. People are quick to tap out as soon as things get a little difficult or boring.

This pattern of behavior can be observed across different areas. Depth requires patience and struggle. But the stimulation of novelty is available easily. So we keep jumping from one thing to another.

Also, when you commit to one thing, you are killing several other possibilities. So there’s that fear of missing out, exacerbated by our hyper-online reality. For example, if you were to quit your job to do your own thing, you’d probably have to struggle for a few years. This means you might have to give up stability, partying, traveling, and other “cool” things. So maybe you’d rationalize against the idea by deciding you want to “keep your options open”.

Okay then, what’s the way out of this paradox of choice?

Constraints

In our modern world, constraints are not something most of us would be happy about. But often what enables sustained happiness are things that constrain us.

Take your relationships for instance. They don’t liberate you, they constrain you. If you’re close to your family, you can’t take up a job that will make you move far away from them. If you’re married, you can’t be out trying to date new people. When you are constrained by your relationships, the number of options “available” to you collapse significantly. But in the process, your decision-making gets easier. Coincidentally, the presence of meaningful relationships is the most reliable indicator of happiness.

You can also replicate this at the micro level. Take Zuck for example. By constraining himself to a specific set of clothes, he frees up mental space that can be used for more important things. Or say, if you’re trying to build an online business, focusing on one platform can yield much better results than dividing your attention between multiple platforms.

Also, constraints in one area of life can allow you to explore freely in other meaningful areas. For instance, if you constrain your spending and switch to a low-paying job where you have to work little, you can free up time for your passion project.

But instead of thinking in terms of constraints, we can simply see it as prioritizing our values. Being clear about what’s important to you makes it easy for you to say no to things that don’t align with your values. We need to make our values explicit to escape the paradox of choice.

Remember, less is more.

Thank you for reading. Most of the content on this website has emerged from conversations with readers like you. Every Sunday, I send out an email dissecting some aspect of the human mind.

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